In the year 2000, my husband and I moved back to his home near Chattanooga, TN (Actually NW Georgia) and left the life that we had shared in Florida for the previous 15 years. It was a welcomed change. A slower pace of life and much, much friendlier and patient people. No more constant hustle and bustle. No more road rage driving on the crowded interstates of Tampa, FL.
The draw back was leaving my mom and dad. I know that we are adults and that financially my dad had provided for their later years, but I felt an obligation to be near them to help with my father's progressing disease.
Knowing that God is in control of everything and as life would have it, my mom and dad moved out of FL and now live within a mile of my husband and myself. It was a relief to know that we would be able to assist my mom and be there when they needed help. My husband had worked in an assisted living facility that specialized in Alzheimer's care, so he was very aware of what was in my family's future caring for my dad.
We have always promised my dad that we would not place him in a nursing home. My mom being 9 years younger than my dad, thankfully has the energy and ability to care for my dad. She does get tired at times, but she is always able to vent to me and if she needs some time away, I am able to sit with my dad.
The funny part about my father's disease is that some of our friends and family did not believe that he had Alzheimer's for quite awhile. They believed that my mother and I were exaggerating his symptoms. My brothers would come for a visit and Dad would speak clearly and hold a relatively lucid conversation. They would speak with me and say that dad was fine. What no one understood is that my father would "practice" before company arrived. He would lay awake at night and create conversations. Sometimes he would make lists of discussions or questions. He hid his disease very well.
My brothers and family friends were not aware of the lost credit cards, the double deposits written in check books before my mother took over the business, the getting lost and the inability to handle normal daily activities.
I am sad to say that he is at the point where he can no longer hide his symptoms. The symptoms are visible to all who meet him.
Next time, the loss we feel.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
A Daughter's view of Alzheimer's
My dad has Alzheimer's Disease. He was diagnosed 6 years ago. I cannot put everything I feel into words, but I thought that with this blog as an outlet that perhaps I can reach out to others who are in the same situation. It is hard to accept sometimes, but as time goes on, I will add snippets and thoughts about this disease and my dad.
First, about my dad.
My dad just turned 83 this last Christmas Day. He is a proud WWII Veteran although he was in the final years of the war. He never spoke about the war so we do not know much of his time at war except that he was not on the front lines. As a Navy corpman, he was on a hospital ship and briefly on an island somewhere in the Pacific in a mash type unit. He enlisted at 17 to serve his country. After leaving the Navy he finished high school and went on to college. He started out as a junior accountant with a company and stayed with the company for 35 years before retiring.
He is a loyal man. He is loyal to God, his family and his country. He was a loyal employee and I rarely remember him taking sick days or complaining about his work environment.
He had a strong sense of family and believed that his role was to provide for his family in the current and the future. Which he did. He believed he was there to protect my mother and worship her. Which he did.
Although he loved his children, it was hard for him to know how to show his love sometimes. He was an only child and did not have good parental role models. It was easier for him and my brothers as they could hunt and fish and engage in sporting events and activities. But, he wasn't quite sure what to do with a girl. Hence, my mother and I were always closer until I reached adulthood. Then I understood.
He was always so meticulous with everything. He was a perfectionist in all that he did.
All of these great qualities that he had are also his curse with this dreaded disease.
The void of memory and the inability to have normal brain function and motor skills prohibits him from doing the most basic items and having a simple conversation. His frustration lies in knowing he has the disease and not being able to protect my mom and be the head of the household. The roles have reversed and he has a hard time accepting the change.
On the plus side, he has turned into a sweet, gentle and loving man. He loves to hug and encourage. He worries and cares for his family. When he is touched he cries. He is so gentle and beginning to look so frail.
When I first noticed the disease, I saw it in his eyes. A photo taken of him and my mother was shocking to me when I saw it for the first time. His eyes had changed. They no longer had life in them. They were vacant. They were just eyes, no soul. Such a cruel disease that would steal a man's soul.
First, about my dad.
My dad just turned 83 this last Christmas Day. He is a proud WWII Veteran although he was in the final years of the war. He never spoke about the war so we do not know much of his time at war except that he was not on the front lines. As a Navy corpman, he was on a hospital ship and briefly on an island somewhere in the Pacific in a mash type unit. He enlisted at 17 to serve his country. After leaving the Navy he finished high school and went on to college. He started out as a junior accountant with a company and stayed with the company for 35 years before retiring.
He is a loyal man. He is loyal to God, his family and his country. He was a loyal employee and I rarely remember him taking sick days or complaining about his work environment.
He had a strong sense of family and believed that his role was to provide for his family in the current and the future. Which he did. He believed he was there to protect my mother and worship her. Which he did.
Although he loved his children, it was hard for him to know how to show his love sometimes. He was an only child and did not have good parental role models. It was easier for him and my brothers as they could hunt and fish and engage in sporting events and activities. But, he wasn't quite sure what to do with a girl. Hence, my mother and I were always closer until I reached adulthood. Then I understood.
He was always so meticulous with everything. He was a perfectionist in all that he did.
All of these great qualities that he had are also his curse with this dreaded disease.
The void of memory and the inability to have normal brain function and motor skills prohibits him from doing the most basic items and having a simple conversation. His frustration lies in knowing he has the disease and not being able to protect my mom and be the head of the household. The roles have reversed and he has a hard time accepting the change.
On the plus side, he has turned into a sweet, gentle and loving man. He loves to hug and encourage. He worries and cares for his family. When he is touched he cries. He is so gentle and beginning to look so frail.
When I first noticed the disease, I saw it in his eyes. A photo taken of him and my mother was shocking to me when I saw it for the first time. His eyes had changed. They no longer had life in them. They were vacant. They were just eyes, no soul. Such a cruel disease that would steal a man's soul.
I Love Sundays
Sunday is my favorite day of the week. The air smells better. The coffee tastes better. Just everything is better on Sundays.
I love getting up early on Sunday morning and sip coffee and read the paper in the quiet before everyone else gets up and the hustle and bustle begins; before church and before Sunday dinner preparations.
As adults, we always seem to fondly look back on Sunday dinner as great times together with the family. The food, no matter what it was always tasted better. Everyone seemed nicer on Sundays. Family would come over and eat, then nap and watch sports or play games or just sit and talk.
Now we spend Sunday dinner at the nursing home with my mother-in-law. I prepare dinner and my husband and I and sometimes our adult daughter when her work schedule allows, take the meal and eat with his mom and her roommate. Although sometimes it is dreaded for us, those two ladies look forward to a home cooked meal. In a small way we are able to give them a special day; something to look forward to.
Somehow, the air smells better, the food tastes better; just everything is better on Sundays. Even sitting on the side of a hospital bed in a nursing home eating Sunday dinner and laughing and playing games and watching sports.
What a glorious day God has made.
I love getting up early on Sunday morning and sip coffee and read the paper in the quiet before everyone else gets up and the hustle and bustle begins; before church and before Sunday dinner preparations.
As adults, we always seem to fondly look back on Sunday dinner as great times together with the family. The food, no matter what it was always tasted better. Everyone seemed nicer on Sundays. Family would come over and eat, then nap and watch sports or play games or just sit and talk.
Now we spend Sunday dinner at the nursing home with my mother-in-law. I prepare dinner and my husband and I and sometimes our adult daughter when her work schedule allows, take the meal and eat with his mom and her roommate. Although sometimes it is dreaded for us, those two ladies look forward to a home cooked meal. In a small way we are able to give them a special day; something to look forward to.
Somehow, the air smells better, the food tastes better; just everything is better on Sundays. Even sitting on the side of a hospital bed in a nursing home eating Sunday dinner and laughing and playing games and watching sports.
What a glorious day God has made.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Another New Year
It is now 2009. I imagine that bloggers everywhere will have at least one New Year's Blog.
All of us reflecting on the previous year or years as well as anticipating the future year and what, for us it holds. We have expressions of happiness and regrets for what we did and did not accomplish in the previous year.
Some blogs I have read are philisophical while others are direct with goals and ambitions.
As a child, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day were not a holiday that I enjoyed celebrating as it made me afraid of the future. The future in which I did not know what was going to happen. In younger years I was always afraid of the unknown because it was something that I was unable to control. Yes, I am a control freak.
Now that I am soon turning 50, the unknown isn't so scary. I am thankful to God that I have survived and that I have learned from the past.
I no longer make resolutions as they usually don't make an impact through January 2nd. I believe we should always strive to better ourselves. We are ever changing in our needs as we age and our situations change throughout our lives.
Be resolute in our faith in God. Be resolute in our dedication to our spouse. Be resolute in our love for our family and friends. These things, in this order, will be the items that make a successful year and a successful life.
I hope everyone has a blessed, safe and wonderful future.
All of us reflecting on the previous year or years as well as anticipating the future year and what, for us it holds. We have expressions of happiness and regrets for what we did and did not accomplish in the previous year.
Some blogs I have read are philisophical while others are direct with goals and ambitions.
As a child, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day were not a holiday that I enjoyed celebrating as it made me afraid of the future. The future in which I did not know what was going to happen. In younger years I was always afraid of the unknown because it was something that I was unable to control. Yes, I am a control freak.
Now that I am soon turning 50, the unknown isn't so scary. I am thankful to God that I have survived and that I have learned from the past.
I no longer make resolutions as they usually don't make an impact through January 2nd. I believe we should always strive to better ourselves. We are ever changing in our needs as we age and our situations change throughout our lives.
Be resolute in our faith in God. Be resolute in our dedication to our spouse. Be resolute in our love for our family and friends. These things, in this order, will be the items that make a successful year and a successful life.
I hope everyone has a blessed, safe and wonderful future.
Why Blog?
Why Blog?
I guess the best answer is because I can. It is an outlet for me. I love to write but have thrown away hopes of ever writing something worth publishing. This way I can write, vent, dream, become a poet, even have a devotion and if someone wants to share or if someone enjoys what I have written, then I am happy.
Some blogs may be about my family, my needs, my wants, my God, my ideas and philosophies or any interests I may have at the time.
I may not have a true understanding of what a Blog should be, but I think I will enjoy having this opportunity.
I guess the best answer is because I can. It is an outlet for me. I love to write but have thrown away hopes of ever writing something worth publishing. This way I can write, vent, dream, become a poet, even have a devotion and if someone wants to share or if someone enjoys what I have written, then I am happy.
Some blogs may be about my family, my needs, my wants, my God, my ideas and philosophies or any interests I may have at the time.
I may not have a true understanding of what a Blog should be, but I think I will enjoy having this opportunity.
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