My dad has Alzheimer's Disease. He was diagnosed 6 years ago. I cannot put everything I feel into words, but I thought that with this blog as an outlet that perhaps I can reach out to others who are in the same situation. It is hard to accept sometimes, but as time goes on, I will add snippets and thoughts about this disease and my dad.
First, about my dad.
My dad just turned 83 this last Christmas Day. He is a proud WWII Veteran although he was in the final years of the war. He never spoke about the war so we do not know much of his time at war except that he was not on the front lines. As a Navy corpman, he was on a hospital ship and briefly on an island somewhere in the Pacific in a mash type unit. He enlisted at 17 to serve his country. After leaving the Navy he finished high school and went on to college. He started out as a junior accountant with a company and stayed with the company for 35 years before retiring.
He is a loyal man. He is loyal to God, his family and his country. He was a loyal employee and I rarely remember him taking sick days or complaining about his work environment.
He had a strong sense of family and believed that his role was to provide for his family in the current and the future. Which he did. He believed he was there to protect my mother and worship her. Which he did.
Although he loved his children, it was hard for him to know how to show his love sometimes. He was an only child and did not have good parental role models. It was easier for him and my brothers as they could hunt and fish and engage in sporting events and activities. But, he wasn't quite sure what to do with a girl. Hence, my mother and I were always closer until I reached adulthood. Then I understood.
He was always so meticulous with everything. He was a perfectionist in all that he did.
All of these great qualities that he had are also his curse with this dreaded disease.
The void of memory and the inability to have normal brain function and motor skills prohibits him from doing the most basic items and having a simple conversation. His frustration lies in knowing he has the disease and not being able to protect my mom and be the head of the household. The roles have reversed and he has a hard time accepting the change.
On the plus side, he has turned into a sweet, gentle and loving man. He loves to hug and encourage. He worries and cares for his family. When he is touched he cries. He is so gentle and beginning to look so frail.
When I first noticed the disease, I saw it in his eyes. A photo taken of him and my mother was shocking to me when I saw it for the first time. His eyes had changed. They no longer had life in them. They were vacant. They were just eyes, no soul. Such a cruel disease that would steal a man's soul.
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